I don’t know about all y’all, but my personal experience with Bed Bath & Beyond has been at best forgettable, and at worst, deeply traumatic. I have received countless gift cards from well-meaning adults, and I have yet to remember to bring any of them to the store, I’ve purchased overpriced storage bins, scavenged for twin extra-long sheets, and helped a friend find the right shampoo for his mother.
But at no point during any of these adventures did it ever occur to me to consider this overwhelmingly bland store as my one-stop-shop for mezuzahs, menorahs, and seder plates. And yet, Bed, Bath & Beyond has a surprisingly amazing collection of Judaica.
You doubt me?
Let me take you on a trip down the aisle of this magical mystical Judaica-infused nonsense of yads, honey pots, and mezuzahs that Bed Bath & Beyond has to offer.
10. Metallic table cloth
Ah yes, the metallic table cloth. A staple in Judaism. Perfect for Hanukkah and making an impression at AEPi toga parties. Get it here.
9. Mother of Pearl 4-Piece Havdallah Set
To match your Mother of Pearl yad (below), obviously. Get it here.
8. Crystal dreidels
Bed Bath & Beyond has five different crystal dreidels available for purchase and I am desperate to understand why. Now that Hanukkah has passed, perhaps they’ll go on sale soon? Get it here. Or here. Or here. Or here. Or (last one) here.
7. Tzedakah Charity Boxes
Big fan of the concept of Bed Bath & Beyond overcharging me for a leather froggy bank that’s supposed to guilt me into giving my pocket change to charity. I’ll take three. Get the “Cashbah Croak the Frog Tzedakah Charity Box” here.
6. Capri Blue Jeweled Enamel Kiddush Cup and Tray
This cup looks like something your chain-smoking spinster great aunt who has a rent-controlled apartment in NYC owns and probably doesn’t match with anything else on this earth. I need it yesterday. Get it here.
5. Our Name is Mud® Picture Frames in Gold
Do you think it’s birthright as an American Jew to combine your Jewish heritage with the Live Laugh Love aesthetics of white suburban Pinterest moms? Look no further because Bed Bath & Beyond has combined these two in an array of frames perfect for treasured memories of your middle school pimple laden-face and ill-fitting clothing. Get it here.
4. So Many Yads!
If you’re struggling to find the right Torah pointer for your home, never fear! Bed Bath & Beyond, for reasons I am unable to understand, offers multiple yads. These range from coconut wood and red coral (a nice hint of the tropics in the coldest months of the year) to mother of pearl! Baruch Hashem, man. Get them here, here, here, here, and here.
3. Lenox® Judaica Blessings Menorah
On one level, I know Hanukkah just happened, and I am fully aware my Chabad menorah works just fine. But on another, something deep within my soul is prepared to die for this menorah. It is short, rotund, and perfect and I feel an emotional connection to this in the way that I feel connected to BB8. I will not be fielding further questions at this time! Get it here.
2. Spode® Judaica Honey Pot with Drizzler
When I think of Judaica in the home I think of porcelain with some stars of David thrown in there for good measure. This, my friends, is fantastic. Not only does Bed Bath & Beyond have a Judaica Honey Pot with Drizzler that fits this description perfectly, but it forms part of the larger Spode® Judaica Collection. Perfect for those of us who want our homes to emulate a gloriously coordinated Wes Anderson Judaica experience. Get it here.
1. Quest Collection Train Mezuzah
This is the piece that started it all, as I stumbled upon it at 2 in the morning during finals week at my school’s 24-hour library. I don’t think you can even begin to comprehend the sense of euphoria I felt as I gazed upon its ceramic form, distracting myself from the 15-page history paper I had only vaguely started. Unfortunately, this gift from God is no longer available for sale online. But I encourage you to take a moment to truly look into its beady, unforgiving eyes and think to yourself, ‘‘Has a mezuzah ever been so convincing in its commitment to remind us of our connection to God and our heritage?’’ I think not.