Dunking a chunk of challah into a bowl of honey, Scott Disick, donning a glitzy hamsa chain, a white kippah, and a nike tracksuit to boot, said the three words that gave this nice Jewish girl a WAP: “Shana tova u’metukah.”
Following the heart-wrenching announcement that reality show Keeping Up With the Kardashians is ending its 20-season run, a Hebrew New Year’s greeting from Kourtney Kardashian’s notorious Ashkenazi Jewish boyfriend almost mended the wound.
See, the thing that’s kept me calm during the pandemic is binge-watching KUWTK from start to finish and there aren’t nearly enough episodes to hold me over until a vaccine is ready. But I must thank this moment for giving me the perfect opportunity to wax poetic naches for the reality TV star who, by my calculations, is good for the Jews.
Disick solidified his future as a celebrity famous for being famous when Joe Francis, the Jewish founder of Girls Gone Wild, made a shidduch in 2016 and introduced him to his future baby mama, Kourtney Kardashian. Debuting the following year, KUWTK quickly catapulted the foul-mouthed, baby blue-eyed 24-year-old to fame, fatherhood, and 15 years of absolute fuckery.
From the start, Lord Disick was unlikeable. Dressed in tight suits with hair gelled back and a clean-shaved punim, it was hard to root for a Kardashian outsider accused of cheating on one of their own. But then the beard started filling in, tracksuits replaced the button downs, and fathering three children with his on-again-off-again girlfriend Kourtney transformed Disick into a FLID (fucking Long Island douchebag) with a heart of gold beloved by his surrogate family.
Haunted by unshakeable demons, Disick has a reputation for being the Kardashian Bad Boy and often falls victim to family scapegoating. I’d love to explore the countless ways his family has fallen short to compassionately support him through his addictions, but that’s not what this article is about — it’s a case for Scott Disick’s celebrity being good for the Jews. What does that even mean? What qualifies as “good for the Jews?” Well, let me put it this way: Harvey Weinstein? Bad for the Jews. Mila Kunis? Good for the Jews.
Got it? Cool.
After growing tired of arguing with trolls on Instagram about Judaism, I decided that as an influencer, the most optimal way for me to combat antisemitism is by being cool and hot. The strategy I’ve implemented is to charm the socks off my followers and then hint at my burning bush with some Yiddish here and holiday greetings there (we call this “bageling”). I learned this tactic from Lord Disick himself.
Constantly doling out love-laced jabs in a high-pitched scratchy voice native to Long Island Jews, Disick is the Kardashian’s comedic relief. He’s handsome, carries an “elephant trunk” in his pants (according to Kourtney), and isn’t afraid to publicly air his demons for millions to see — it’s no wonder the Jewish reality star has 24.1 million followers on Instagram. And throughout his 14-year tenure as a public figure in a supremely Christian family, Disick proudly sprinkled kosher salt over his celebrity, bageling the shit out KUWTK stans. Need a highlight reel? You got it:
In an earlier KUWTK season, Disick wants to celebrate Shabbat dinner with his family, but Kourtney is like, “nah,” so Scott responds, “For Kourtney to tell me the whole Jewish thing is just another phase in my life is pretty disrespectful. It isn’t like a certain type of suit or a certain type of car I’m into.”
Hello, Jewish pride!!!
In that same episode, Scott attends services at a New York City synagogue and fails to keep his kippah from sliding off his perfectly coiffed hair. On camera, he says, “I feel a little uncomfortable. I don’t speak Hebrew; I can’t read Hebrew. I don’t really even know what prayer we’re on. But, being in temple feels great, it really does… Maybe I’m gonna start going to temple more.”
Hello, Jewish imposter syndrome!!!
Disick has expressed wanting to give his son Mason a bar mitzvah; in 2013, he shared an image of himself on Instagram as Superman with a Star of David on his chest, and a year later, he posted a meme of Kim, Kourtney, and Khloe Kardashian that read, “The only KKK to ever let Black men in,” which Disick captioned, “and a Jew.” In 2016, Disick was blessed by a rabbi at the Kotel, shared an image of himself in front of a menorah captioned, “Hashem is everywhere,” and ate shakshuka in Tel Aviv. In 2018, he posed with a camel to wish Jews a “Happy Passover,” and in a new KUWTK episode he revealed that Hershela, the dog he shares (shared?) with ex-girlfriend Sofia Richie, is Jewish. Oh! And we get a glimpse of young Disick at his bar mitzvah party!
Say what you want about the Kardashians and their trashy reputation, but having been starved of drama for the entirety of the ongoing pandemic, KUWTK has filled a gaping hole in this little yenta’s heart. Disick might not be an observant Jew — neither am I — but witnessing his immense character growth and Rosh Hashanah bageling earned him 36,000 mensch points in my book.
A true light amongst the nations who watch reality TV, here’s to Scott Disick, who yes, is good for the Jews.
