There was a crime committed on RuPaul’s Drag Race last week. One of our best and brightest Jewish sisters, Miz Cracker, was wrongly sent home. Cracker has everything RuPaul asks his queens to have: charisma, uniqueness, nerve, and talent. So the question is why isn’t she part of the final four for season 10?
In remembrance of her life-changing performances, I am going to list some of my favorite Cracker moments from this season.
Episode 1
You could say Miz Cracker had me from the moment in her introduction when she shouted, “OKAY, IT’S TIME FOR DINNERRRR!”. She told us that “I’m thin, I’m white, and I’m very salty, and that’s what makes me a cracker. As a performer I’m wild, Barbie on bath salts. Come for the face, stay for the crazy,” which was terrifying, hilarious, and endearing. She even makes reference to the little-known Jewish namesake of Barbie, Barbara Handler, the daughter of two of Mattel’s co-founders. In our brief taste of Cracker that episode, we fell in love.
Episode 5
In episode five, Miz Cracker was truly in her element in a segment on The Bossy Rossy Show, a parody daytime talk show. She portrayed a doctor who was actually a pickle trying to cure Mayhem Miller of her pickle phobia. She was “not only dressed as a pickle… I am actually a pickle.” She goes big and really commits to this scene. She even adds in some pickle puns for good measure. She was in the top two but inexplicably did not snag the win that week, instead losing to Eureka.
Episode 8
Despite claiming not to know the work of Cher, Miz Cracker tore the house down with her portrayal of modern day Cher in “Cher: The Unauthorized Rusical.” She channels a contemporary and many times absurd Cher with a spot-on impression. She really brought it with her runway look, where she wore a skull puking glitter which looked very chic, in a way vomit rarely does. This episode was judged by everyone’s favorite loud Jew, Billy Eichner, But even with two Jews on the panel, Cracker was sadly denied.
Episode 10
Episode 10 brought the classic “drag queens makeover a non-drag performer into their new drag sister” challenge using social media influencers. Miz Cracker had one of the biggest uphill battles, getting paired with a straight man, Chester See. At first they are a bit nervous about each other but when Ru breaks the ice they really started to click. Cracker turns the masculine, beard-rocking See into the beautiful Miz Cookie, who hams it up on the stage with some twerks towards the judges. Her jutting brings Cracker her first, only, and highly deserved win.
Episode 11
This week tragedy struck. Miz Cracker was eliminated in a challenge where the queens were instructed to show their good and bad sides in two different outfits. I will be the first to admit that Cracker did not do her best this week, despite the fact that she is very honest about her flaws in general. She was (as always) beautiful, but the darkside-showcasing monologue didn’t hit the level of self-deprecation Cracker always carries with her. She was forced to lip sync for her life against Kameron Michaels, who has been on the bottom for the past three weeks. Michaels is a lip sync assassin and took Cracker as her latest victim despite a hilarious lip sync to “Nasty Girl.”
Season 10 ended for me last Thursday with the loss of our Jewish queen, Miz Cracker. I will of course finish the season because I need to see who Ru thinks should “win,” but I know the true season 10 winner will always be Miz Cracker, at least to me. The only thing that is allowing me to keep going is Miz Cracker’s always hilarious YouTube series, Review With A Jew. And you better believe I’ll be keeping my eyes out for Miz Cracker on RuPaul’s’ Drag Race All Stars Four.
