Social media has always been pretty toxic. Even before October 7, hatred and misinformation of all forms proliferated on places like TikTok, Twitter and Facebook. Meanwhile, Instagram has also been a place where it’s easy for body image and self-esteem issues to thrive. But ever since October 7, that toxicity has only intensified. Now, it’s almost impossible to scroll on social media without seeing horrible news and images about the Israel-Hamas war, equally horrible misinformation about it and unchecked antisemitism and Islamophobia.
In anticipation of the first anniversary of this awful day, we turned to you with questions. We at Hey Alma wanted to know how the lives of our audience members have shifted over the last year. One of these questions was: How is your relationship with social media different? What we received was a wide spectrum of responses from stories of permanently deleting all social media profiles and blocking friends to becoming even more active online.
In sharing these responses, we hope to show you that you are not alone in re-negotiating your relationship with social media. More than that, it’s OK to take a social media hiatus when you need it. And if you ever find yourself in need of a new kind of online Jewish community, looking for one on Hey Alma isn’t a bad place to start.
How is your relationship with social media different?
“I’ve stopped posting about my life. I can’t seem to justify posting all the things going on when Palestinians are being murdered and the hostages are being murdered and my family in Israel is going through so much and antisemitism is on the rise and everyone just wants to post political soundbites without understanding or even wanting to understand the complexity, to see the humanity and suffering.”— 43, Finland (formally of Ithaca, NY)
“I’ve gotten a lot more aware about how easily misinformation spreads on social media.” — 20, New York
“Immediately after October 7, I deleted social media from my phone because I found that I didn’t want to see anything about the conflict. It seems as though the vast majority of media and comments were very against the Jews and the amount of antisemitism I saw was unhealthy and was not good for me to see. Now I’ve been using social media, but a lot less. I used to use it to escape reality — now it feels as though I use reality to escape the internet.” — 29, Toronto
“My research is focused on British media’s perception of Jewish identity, Zionism and the environment. This has been a devastating but sadly interesting moment in history. The comments sections in particular have been excruciating. There has never been so much division within our own community, such lack of empathy. As I teach the histories of Israel/Palestine, my students relate back what their algorithms have been spitting out. It’s become even more crucial to make sure they have time in seminars to discuss what it is they are seeing on social media and contextualize it with history. Not to tell them what to think, but to create space for them to think critically. To remember the humanity of those we may not agree with.” — 38, UK
“Social media was important for my work — heck, it built my career, many friendships, helped me reach out to other creatives and make art together. I deleted almost all of it in the days following October 7. I’m only on IG now and I’m still scared to look at stories.” — 32, Israel
“I find myself blocking words that I had no idea even existed a year ago. I’ve carefully curated my Twitter homepage to exclusively TV and musicians I like, I haven’t clicked the trending tab and I’ve stopped watching a lot of the Jewish creators who I watched before. I’ve watched as some Jewish creators I enjoy have lost thousands of followers for saying something as simple as they don’t think all Israelis should die. It’s such a strange sensation to see antisemitism and misinformation spread so quickly on these social media sites and with barely any pushback.” — 20, England
“I used to be very politically active online but seeing all of the misinformation posted by my peers and friends this past year has made me go completely ‘silent’ online because I just don’t want to be a part of it. I see so many people posting online about how ‘if you don’t post you’re complicit in genocide’ or things of similar sentiment. It’s frustrating because I’m having real, difficult conversations with the people in my life but because I don’t post about it online people assume I don’t care. I’m also sad seeing how many people I had considered my friends posting blatantly antisemitic things, and I’m too exhausted to try and have those conversations with them anymore.” — 23, New York
“Literally I am afraid of sharing anything about Judaism.” — 30, Vancouver, BC
“Social media has gotten scarier since October 7. I’m scared to go through my friends’ Instagram stories. I’m scared I’m going to see tremendous amounts of horror from the war and/or antisemitism whether it be accidental or not. And these posts make me even more nervous off of social media because I don’t know who I can feel safe being my authentically Jewish self with.” — 21, Georgia
“I have realized that being on social media puts me in contact with a lot of antisemitic content, and if I chose not to be on social media I wouldn’t have any idea how much is out there. So then I need to think about whether I want to see it or whether I’d rather not know.” — 43, Minnesota
“I’ve posted a daily Instagram story every day since October 7: Israel support, Bring Them Home Now, antisemitism awareness. Used to only post very occasionally. I’m definitely following more Jewish accounts, ones that existed before and ones that appeared since October 7.” — 57, Westchester County, NY
“I’ve set a time limit for Instagram on my phone because I was spending so much time obsessing over things that were beyond my control. The people that I was seeing post things had no interest in listening to me, and eventually I realized that it wasn’t my job to make them. I had to prioritize my own wellbeing. I’ve had to mute a lot of people’s Instagram stories because I don’t want to unfollow them, but I can’t put myself through seeing the things they are saying.” — 22, New York
“I always told myself social media was critical to my job and my ability to be connected to my friends and family. But after October 7, all I could feel was the crippling weight of my own anxiety every time I logged on and saw more headlines about Jewish children being brutalized and murdered. At the time, I had my own Jewish baby who needed me, and I couldn’t reconcile her little face and the sweet, warm weight of her in my arms with the knowledge that mothers across the ocean were in despair. So I avoided the news. I avoided social media. And eventually, I just logged off entirely. It’s probably the best thing I’ve done for my own mental health, and the health of my family. I miss some of the updates and moments of connection, but right now, my Jewish baby comes first.” — 33, Indianapolis
“Being an American Jew with family in Israel, my algorithm after October 7 became suffocating. I had always felt being ‘pro’ one side was too ‘anti’ the other, so I really struggled finding social media spaces that fostered compassion and dialogue rather than echo chambers. I finally found my place in peace activist pages, but it took months to reset my algorithm. I can’t help but feel like people online in the West have deluded themselves into thinking they are somehow ‘better than Israelis’ or ‘better than Palestinians’ while ironically upholding the same awful status quo: pick a side to justify your hate for ‘the other.'” — 29, New York
“Before October 7 I would check Insta once a day, maybe. I didn’t know what JInsta was or even Hey Alma. Then came October 7 and all I saw on Insta were my ‘friends’ hating Israel, hating Jews… I dreaded going on. And then I saw a post about Jewish history, which led me to an amazing community of Jewish influencers. Now I’m on Insta for hours a day fighting antisemitism, correcting misinformation and learning about OUR history, culture and story from OUR people. It’s hard seeing all the hate, but it’s been so empowering to see the Jewish community using social media as a tool to stand up for ourselves and fight against antisemitism.” — 39, New York
“At first it was all too overwhelming and I had to delete my entire online presence. I saw friends I trusted, colleagues I knew and total strangers betray a certain level of trust and safety I thought I had. I returned later in March 2024. Some space helped; I decided to be my authentic Jewish self. Pictures of kids, yeah, but also photos of making challah, celebrating the holidays and also expressing when my community was feeling pain. It was time to just be Jewish.” — 39, Vancouver, Canada
“I have learned to just block people instead of getting upset by what they post.” — 38, Brooklyn, NY
“I don’t post anything anymore. I feel like anything I say can be skewed or attacked. On the consuming side I angry doom scroll constantly and argue with people in my head.” — 34, Brooklyn, NY
“Not reading the comments has become a form of self care.” — 31, London
“I’ve had to mute most accounts who post about Israel/Palestine — from people I used to call friends to pages I agree with — because I was drained from that being the only subject on my feed.” — 24, Washington DC
“I’ve gotten a lot better at limiting what I want to see and how much I’m seeing. In the immediate aftermath, I felt like I was on social media constantly to get information about what was going on, find community, and (cynically) find the people I should stay away from. There are more than a few people I’ve unfollowed since October 7 because I found their responses so reprehensible (both to the horrors of October 7 itself and the suffering inflicted on Palestinians over these past 12 months). Then, I went totally off social media, but that made me feel too disconnected. Now, I feel like I’ve struck a balance. My screen time is limited, and I do not interact with anything even remotely political on social media because I don’t want to encourage the ~ algorithm ~ to show me that type of content. News is from news sources only, social media is for cute pets and vacation photos.” — 25, New Jersey
“I trust the information I see a lot less. I already knew that there was a lot of disinformation on social media, but it really came to a head after October 7 because I started to see way more of it and from two different sides of the discourse. I’ve started to read legacy media a lot more to mitigate the effects of disinformation on social media, and that’s helped keep me sane.” — 38, Los Angeles
“I’ve turned notifications off so that if I engage with social media it is my choice. I have lost many friends to antisemitic tropes or beliefs that they projected onto me. I have stopped posting about anything related to antisemitism or I/P to protect my peace, if it takes me remaining blissfully ignorant to do so, so be it. My block button and my hide stories button are my best friends now.” — 30, Texas
“I used to be super active, posting and scrolling all the time. After October 7, I completely logged off for months after seeing some things that really hurt and disturbed me. Now I flit in and out. I post almost nothing because I don’t want to virtue signal, say the wrong thing, minimize or ignore anyone’s pain. Plus, I have friends and family in the U.S. who have cut me off since October 7 for the sheer fact that I live in Israel — no matter that I am a pro-peace, anti-occupation leftist with very complex feelings about Zionism — and so I feel vulnerable being present at all online.” — 29, Israel
Click here for more from the Hey Alma community on how this last year has changed us.