The spring blooms are budding and grocery stores are stocking their endcaps with boxes of matzah for the first time since Hanukkah. The signs that it’s nearly Passover abound! Which means it’s time to prepare to dig deep and ask yourself the important question of the season. No, not any of the Four Questions. The question of: Which silly plague mask am I going to wear at seder this year?!
If you need help deciding, please reference Hey Alma’s extremely definitive ranking of all the Passover plague masks below. We’ve graded them from worst to best based on overall design and vibe. Happy (almost) Passover!
#10 Death of the First Born
The lashes are a slay. But everything else about this mask? Not so much.
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#9 Frogs
WHY are its eyes so big? And why are your human eyes in the center of its pupils?! It’s giving Scooby Doo villain spying through a painting.
#8-#7 Cow Disease and Wild Animals
It’s a tie! Both of these options are fine… if you want to get passed over as most interesting seder guest.
If it’s down to these two masks, perhaps go for Miss Moo with her very full falsies.
#6 Darkness
You’re supposed to represent darkness, not be in total darkness – where are the eyeholes? In this thing, it’s impossible to tell the difference between your grandfather and the ghost of Eliyahu Hanavi!
That said, the little sun peeking out in the corner is cute.
#5 Boils
Cons: It’s tough to pull off if you have blemishes. (We see you, acne-prone divas.) Pros: You’re following in the footsteps of Richard Kind, and polka-dots are in this season.
#4 Blood
Great color and exceptional design concept. Very method actor.
#3 Lice
This is the only mask with googly eyes, which is kind of a big deal. Bonus points for anyone who chooses this mask because it reminds them of Sammy Spider!
#2 Hail
To the untrained eye it might look like anyone wearing the Hail mask is doing a Heat Miser/Snow Miser roleplay. But what’s actually happening is too high-drama and avant garde for them to possibly comprehend.
#1 Locusts
Locust mask is a serve. Locust mask is the moment. Design-wise and biblically, this locust ate.
Now click here to get the Passover plague masks for yourself!
(Note: Everything we recommend is independently selected by Hey Alma’s editors. If you buy a product through our links, Hey Alma may earn an affiliate commission, which goes to support our nonprofit media organization.)
