I know my friends are going to be late. It’s inevitable. Yet, if we agreed on a time to meet, I will be there by that time — probably a little early. My inability to be late, to a fault, is so frustrating.
For my fellow perennially-on-time people, here’s a list of what goes through my mind, arriving on time to a dinner (or insert whatever other activity here) that you know your friends will be late to.
1. Check-in with the host, pray they will seat you without your complete party, still be disappointed when they say no.
2. Decide if you’re going to sit at the bar or just lurk awkwardly by the door.
3. Look for a seat.
4. Text your friends, “I’m here!” Wait for a response that’s along the lines of “on my way/got held up at work/subways aren’t working/be there soon!!!” Know that mostly, these are lies, they just didn’t leave on time.
5. Pull out your phone, scroll through Instagram, then Twitter, then Facebook, then back to Instagram, and then close Instagram, and then re-open Instagram. (You’re addicted to Instagram, obvs.)
6. Wonder if the people around you think you’re being stood up on a date.
7. Decide you are a self-confident person who doesn’t need to look at her phone while waiting.
8. This lasts approximately one minute. Pull out your phone again.
9. Wish that you brought your book, or headphones, or something. Why are you always unprepared?
10. Think that maybe you have a book downloaded on the kindle app on your phone.
11. You don’t.
12. Debate texting your friends again. Decide to wait until 15 minutes have passed.
13. You don’t want to be annoying.
14. But you’re really fucking hungry.
15. You decide not to text. Instead, you snapchat other friends, “ugh why am I always early??” You also ask yourself this: Next time, you swear, you’re going to be 10 minutes late. At least!
16. The waiter/bartender/host checks on you — you look at your watch and lie, “My friend is going to be here super soon!”
17. You check your phone, again.
18. Twenty-five minutes later, they arrive, and all is forgotten.
19. Repeat for eternity.
Header Image via Lyla Ribot on giphy.