Last night, “The Brutalist” was a clear winner at The Golden Globes. The three-and-a-half-hour long epic which follows fictitious Hungarian-Jewish architect László Tóth (Adrien Brody) in the years after he survives the Holocaust and moves to the United States took three out of the four awards for which it was nominated. Director Brady Corbet won best director, Jewish star Adrien Brody won best actor and the film itself won best motion picture in the drama category.
“The character’s journey is very reminiscent of my mother’s and my ancestral journey of fleeing the horrors of war and coming to this great country, and you know, I owe so much to my mother, my grandparents, for their sacrifice,” Brody, who is himself Hungarian-Jewish, said in his acceptance speech. He was previously nominated for a Golden Globe in 2003 for his performance in “The Pianist” as Polish-Jewish Holocaust survivor Władysław Szpilman. (Though he did not take home the Golden Globe in 2003, he did win the Academy Award for his performance.)
These Golden Globe wins potentially bode well for “The Brutalist”‘s Oscar chances — or, at the very least, are making Timothée Chalamet and his tiny mustache quake in their boots.
All of which is to say: Fine, I’ll watch “The Brutalist.”
Are you happy, Adrien Brody? You win. I’ll spend $25 with a $2.69 fee for a ticket, plus an additional $7 to $10 on a popcorn, to see your little critically acclaimed movie. I’ll go through the rigmarole of being captivated by its sheer scale and virtuosity. I suppose I can be inconvenienced to weep, gasp, gnash my teeth at and otherwise viscerally experience the tragic saga of a Jewish immigrant.
Look, if you’re confused, guess what? Me too, pal! I’m confused as to what business any movie thinks it has being three-and-a-half-hours long. When I go to the movie theater, sure, I’m coming to this place for magic — just as long as that magic is no more than ninety-minutes long. Otherwise, sorry, I’m not seeing your movie. I’m a woman on-the-go! Do you know what I could do with three-and-a-half hours of a day? I could write letters to dear friends. I could finish a book or two. I could pee roughly 10 times! I repeat: I’m a woman on-the-go and I pretty much always have-to-go!
Now, I have to see a movie that is 215 minutes long just because it’s a highly recognized piece of contemporary art on art and ambition and the human soul?! You’re one sick puppy, Brady Corbet. And I just know that you thought you could butter me up with the movie’s 15-minute intermission. “Just go to the bathroom then, Evelyn,” you’re probably saying. Well you know what? No, I won’t go to the bathroom then. I will sit through the intermission and hold it the entire movie out of spite. The praise that I will almost definitely have for this movie will not be bought that easily.
In conclusion: Fine, I’ll go watch “The Brutalist”! I just hope everyone involved can live with themselves knowing that I will enjoy it.
Oh, you can? Because you’ll probably win a bunch of Oscars? That’s what I thought.
