When Barbara “Barbie” Pascual returned to the “Below Deck” franchise during the most recent season of “Below Deck Down Under,” she had two goals.
Barbie’s ancillary (but still important) aim was to clear her name. Aboard the St. David on “Below Deck” season 11, viewers watched the now-thirty-something Buenos Aires native implode personal, professional and romantic relationships with her crew-mates. After quitting in the finale, she later reflected on her experience to Captain Kerry Titheradge, “I need to work on myself, but I also need to work on myself with people that care about me, not with people that don’t.”
Coming into season 14 of “Down Under” as a replacement for the fired Mike Durrant, it’s clear that Barbie used her time away to do just that. She was more grounded and less ego-driven, never the center of any conflict. Barbie was seemingly a whole new woman thanks to a good therapist and, crucially, finally being ready to convert to Orthodox Judaism – something she had confessed to deckhand Kyle Stillie in season 11 as wanting to eventually pursue because “my soul is Jewish.”
Just before leaving to film the season, Barbie got in contact with the Beis Din of South Florida and formally began her conversion journey two weeks after filming wrapped. While she has yet to submerge in the mikvah and complete her conversion, for the past 11 months she has been living an Orthodox Jewish lifestyle.
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Which leads us to Barbie’s primary goal in returning to the Bravo reality series: shining a light on the Judaism she knew was about to be a major part of her life. Sadly, she was less successful in this endeavor. Despite bringing Jewishness on board Captain Jason Chambers’ M/Y Katina, none of it was included in the final cut.
With “Below Deck Down Under” season 14 wrapped up earlier this week, we caught up with Barbie to chat about her conversion in-progress and all the Jewish moments that didn’t make the edit.
Barbie on her conversion journey:
My journey actually started around nine years ago. I began working for an Orthodox Jewish company on Wall Street and I made amazing friends. At first it was more of an exposure to the culture. The turning point was going to Israel. The first time, I went with Israeli friends at the company. So that time was really more about pictures and tourism and fun. No deep connection.
But then on the second trip I went by myself and visited the Western Wall in Israel. I can’t even explain why I wanted to go by myself again. But I experienced something undeniable. I stood there and cried my eyes out for two hours. It was like a total out-of-body experience in the best way. It’s a little cheesy when I say it, but I really just felt like my soul had finally made it home. I remember crying and looking up and being like, “Hashem, what is this?” I didn’t hear a voice, but I knew Hashem was saying, “You’re Jewish, that’s what this is.” I couldn’t deny that connection to Hashem anymore.
On what made her finally ready to convert:
It was such a battle. It’s so much work converting to Orthodox Judaism. It’s changing every aspect of your life, changing the way you dress, the way you eat, changing your friend groups. I sold the apartment I used to have and moved into a Jewish neighborhood. I had to stop working on yachts, because yachts were on the weekends. It was such a sacrifice. It was like sacrificing everything, every way you look at it. Even in a way, it was sacrificing TV.
I wasn’t at the stage of my life on “Below Deck.” I knew I loved Judaism, and I knew I wanted to convert, but I also knew it required so many steps. That season, it was so stressful for me. It was so much drama. I felt like so much was pinned on me. When I left that season, it was like, OK, I don’t know what just happened, but that’s not who I am. I need to connect with my soul.
On her first experiences with Chabad after “Below Deck”:
I got kicked out twice because I wasn’t standing for Shema. I wasn’t standing for the Torah. I had no idea what I was doing.
On when her conversion will be complete:
It’s all in Hashem’s timing. People are always like, “Oh, how long is it going to take? How long is it going to take?” I’ve been doing it for 11 months now, and I don’t really know the time limit of it. But how can you put a time limit on changing, like, on getting a new soul? I don’t think that there is a rush there.
On what her Jewish practice looks like right now:
I’m very tznius [modest]. I dress modest and I sold all my old clothes. And then it’s a lot of like constantly choosing to be Jewish: blessing my food, keeping Shabbos, all the holidays. I have a rabbi who I go to if I have any life questions. I have my rebbetzin who teaches me everything. I do two hours a week of Torah study. I’m learning Hebrew. I speak Yiddish. My house separates meat and dairy. I only buy kosher food and I only eat kosher food – I gave up all the restaurants I used to love.
And I have a community, which I think is the best part. I love going to Chabad. I go to Chabad every Shabbos and daven every single day – two times a day. It should be three, I know, but we’re getting there.
Every single thing about my life is Jewish. It’s so beautiful. I’m so thankful. To come from where I came from, especially this TV world, to now to have such a soulful life… It’s a blessing.
On how her family, who is Catholic, has responded to her converting:
They’ve been amazing. I have the most supportive family. If my parents supported me after “Below Deck,” they’ll support anything.
On how it feels to finally be living the Orthodox life she always wanted:
For me, Judaism is like an anchor. It wasn’t so much about changing who I was, it was more about grounding myself. What I found with my conversion is it’s something that’s deeply personal, it’s an intentional choice. It’s every single day you have to wake up and choose to live a Jewish life.
That’s been life changing. I used to be so much more materialistic, I used to be so much more shallow, I used to care more about what people commented, about fame and TV and when am I gonna get the next show? And I just don’t care about that at all.
On the Jewishness she brought to “Below Deck Down Under” season 14:
I hadn’t officially started converting yet, but I was davening two times a day on the boat. I was talking about Judaism a lot. I lit Shabbos candles. My main goal for going back was really to elevate with the platform I had. It was like, “OK this part of my history is so not tznius. It doesn’t align with who I am. How can I clean up this history of mine and elevate it?” I went there with that purpose. Now I can’t control the editing. I can’t control what airs. So, unfortunately, none of what I did to bring light to Judaism is on the show. Which is just beyond disappointing.
On which is harder: Converting to Orthodox Judaism or dealing with drunken love triangles on board the ship:
Converting to Orthodox Judaism has been the hardest thing I’ve ever done in my entire life. It requires a lot of inner growth. I’m always trying to increase in goodness and kindness.
On whether her conversion will preclude her from doing more “Below Deck” or TV in general:
Chabad philosophy doesn’t tell you to run away from the secular world. It tells you to go into the world and elevate it. So, when it comes to the TV world… I don’t know. It gets very complicated. So many things are so contradictory that I don’t know if both could coexist. But if they could, it would be by taking the TV world and elevating it by bringing light to Judaism. If I could use my platform to speak positively about Judaism then it’s worth it for me.
