The Most Embarrassing Jewish Summer Camp Stories You’ve Ever Heard

Earlier this week, the Hey Alma team put out a call for your most embarrassing Jewish summer camp stories. And oh boy, did you deliver.

The submissions we received ran the gamut of awkward Jewish summer camp experiences from weird first kisses to lack of athleticism to so, so much bodily fluid. We loved reading every single one of them. Below are some of our favorite submissions, which include sleepwalking, nudity, tampons, pee, snakes and a didgeridoo. Some of them have been kept anonymous at the request of the submitter.

And make sure to read to the end to see which cringe-worthy Jewish summer camp story won the contest and this one-of-a-kind t-shirt!

Visiting Day Blues

Submitted by Meredith G.

Picture it: Cedar Lake Camp, a “Jewish overnight camp in Milford, PA,” 1996. I played one of the ugly stepsisters in the first session musical, “Cinderella.” (A commanding performance, if I do say so myself.) The object of my affection, Seth — a year older and a serf in the chorus. We flirted every day at rehearsal. He asked me to dance during a slow song at the camp dance. He even suggested I give him a kiss on the cheek one fateful Friday night in the amphitheater after Shabbat services. Of course, I wrote all of these stunning details in my letters home. My mom knew everything. And on Visiting Day, after treating our parents to musical comedy gold, I was walking with my mom back to my bunk, and Seth came up to say great job and give me a hug. And as he walked away, not remotely yet out of earshot, my mom said, “Oh Meredith, you’re right — he IS cute!!!” And that was the day I died.

Havdalaahhhhhhh!

Submitted by Anonymous

During a Havdalah I helped lead, I had to run up to a wood plaque and smash a water balloon filled with paint on it. When I ran up I slipped and ran into the plaque, splattering the paint all over me. This happened in front of the entire camp, was caught on video and I spent the rest of the night covered in paint while I waited for shower time.

Tampon Trouble

Submitted by Sarah A.

At my summer camp, we only had porta-potties to use the bathroom. When I got my period at age 13 at camp, I was determined to learn how to use a tampon! My two friends stood outside the porta-pottie doors yelling detailed instructions to me inside! Porta-potties are not private, so everyone knew what was happening.

Snakes in a Toilet

Submitted by Sarah G.

I was the only staff member in my bunk at night and I went to use the bathroom and saw something in the toilet. We had been having snake problems all summer so I panicked and thought it was a snake. My supervisor was in a staff meeting so I called him and obviously he came running because he thought there was a snake in my bunk with my sleeping 10-year-olds. He went into the bathroom, looked in the toilet and so incredibly loudly said “IT’S POOOOOOP.” The floating thing in the toilet was poop. It was not a snake. It was poop. So my supervisor ran across camp to find poop in the toilet. This was last summer and I have yet to live it down. The leadership team jokes about it all the time and I will never escape the embarrassment.

A Sleepwalk to Remember

Submitted by Anonymous

I was little, like 8 or 9. I had a history of sleep walking and it was really hot that summer. Anyway, one night I was sleeping in just underwear (nothing on top) and I ended up sleepwalking outside my cabin and sleep talking to the counselor and her male friends who were on duty. I didn’t know until the next morning when my counselor had to have a private conversation with me about wearing clothes to bed!! I think my naked sleepwalk reputation followed me until I was 15 years old!!

The Duffle Incident

Submitted by Anonymous

On one of my last nights of a camp session, I woke up in the middle of the night to use the restroom. I got out of bed, sat on a toilet, and half asleep — I peed all over myself. Seemed someone had put the toilet lid down! I stripped off the pee soaked PJs and ran out to the porch to try and find my bag and some new clothes. As I was searching for my duffle in the sea of duffles, a counselor on duty heard the commotion from their golf cart and pulled over to inspect. I panicked and instead of rationally explaining the situation or running inside the cabin… I zipped myself into a nearby duffle.

Make-Out Mischpacha

Submitted by Anonymous

When I was going into 9th grade at camp, we were a combined unit with the 8th graders. The whole brother cabin was trying to date the 8th grade girls. Our 9th grade cabin was seriously flirting with the 8th grade boys. Little did I know that I was actively trying to make out with my second cousin every night after evening program… Apparently all the counselors knew this. Yikes!

Call Me Pee Girl

Submitted by Anonymous

Sometimes it takes leaving home to learn the ways your family is different from others. It was 2003, my first summer at camp, and I had made level 6 swimming. At the time, this was one of my proudest accomplishments, as it felt like a big honor for a 9-year-old. Feeling ambitious and overly confident, I tried out for the swim team that had one meet a summer at a different camp. On the way home, win or lose, a stop at Friendly’s for an ice cream and a soda was a coveted tradition.

As we drove a few hours back to camp, my need to pee grew stronger. At home, during long car rides, if you needed to pee, a cup was passed to the back seat, and you would do your business, and at the next stoplight, the pee would be poured out the window. Never did I know this was not a standard family practice but was specific to my kooky hippie parents. So as I felt my bladder about to burst, I took my Friendly’s cup in the back of the yellow school bus, pulled down my pants, and relieved myself with more confidence than I would like to say. No spill is a point of pride for us cup pee-ers. You can imagine the faces of 20+ kids when a 9-year-old is peeing on the bus with no warning or explanation. I pulled my pants back up, placed the lid on my pee, and sat back down.

As we pulled into camp 2+ hours later, the warm cup of pee clenched tightly, I learned that — peeing in cups is not a group camping experience, and some things are just for the family. Being just 9, the elders on the swim team were mostly friends of my older brother, and to this day, as I write this at 30 years old, if I see any of them — they will call me “pee girl.” A title I earned with pride.

Hot Steve

Submitted by Ariella S.

We had these boards in the bathroom that you could write on while you peed that said things like “what do you thinkle while you tinkle.” One summer my friends and I had a MASSIVE crush on a guy who worked on the kitchen, let’s just let say his name was Steve. We all would go around calling him “Hot Steve” and would hang out in the kitchen to be near him. On our boards in the bathroom we would write some pretty raunchy things about Steve such as “I want Steve to have my babies” or “Steve is the hottest man alive.” Along with the usual camp drawings of penises and such.

One day, our camp director — who was a middle-aged male rabbi — decided to do a surprise inspection of our bunk, which we obviously failed, but not because of the board in the bathroom but because we left magazine scraps all over the floor because we were making a shrine to Laurie Loughlin (this was the summer of the college admissions scandal). Anyways fast forward a few days and I didn’t think much about it. Then I saw Steve mowing the lawn and I was screaming to get his attention “Heyyy Steve! How’s it going?!” But he couldn’t hear me over the lawn mower. Then the camp director comes up behind me and says, “Well if you got something you want to say to Steve why don’t you just write it on the board in the bathroom?” My counselors banned us from writing on the board that afternoon.

A Trip to Lake Enema

Submitted by Anonymous

The last time I went waterskiing at camp I fell backwards and still hung on to the bar and was given a lake enema and had poo through my neon pink one piece 🙁

And now, the winning entry of the most embarrassing Jewish summer camp story is…

Didgeridon’t

Submitted by Avital K.

When I was at Ramah in about 6th or 7th grade, there was a girl who brought a didgeridoo with her. I was too young to appreciate the difficulty of this particular instrument. I had also never heard the term before and it for some reason I processed the word and committed it to memory as dildo. I proceeded to write home about the weird girl in my cabin that brought her dildo to camp who used it all the time. I also told everyone at camp that she brought a dildo. I have no memory as to how this particular mix up was remedied, but I fully embarrassed myself and her around the whole camp and back at home!!

Congratulations to Avital K., we hope you enjoy your t-shirt!