Last weekend was incredibly low-key for me. I had lunch with my mom, I did a little shopping, I made my wedding bouquets, I finished a book… In an exceedingly rare move for this technology-loving millennial, I went almost completely off the grid for, like, three whole days—only to return to social media on Monday to discover the ultimate governmental balagan.
Wait, are you familiar with the word balagan? If not, you should be, especially in such trying times as these—you know, when it feels like the United States government is about to implode. Balagan, a Hebrew word derived from Russian, means “mess” or “chaos.” Somehow, though, it seems to hit harder than either of its English translations.
I know, I know: These days, in the United States, it seems like there’s a new balagan every single day. From attempted Muslim bans to the transgender military ban to repeated attacks against Obamacare to actual Nazi marches in the year 2017, there are plenty of crises to go around. It seems like we can’t go a week without the whole world falling apart—much of it starting with our own president, who is widely agreed to be a real putz (and that’s putting it nicely because my mother might read this).
Imagine my surprise though, when, after a beautiful, quiet break from social media, I returned to the hustle and bustle of the internet, only to discover that members of the Trump campaign and his current administration are being indicted. That’s a balagan of the highest order, right?
It’s actually what we might call a balagan gaadol, a big mess. Yuuuuge, even.
As one friend put it, “This shit is a balagan. B-A-L-A-G-A-N.” I know, she’s a real Jewish Gwen Stefani. But this balagan is pretty bananas.
The only bigger balagan I can imagine is if the president himself were to be impeached. Hey, a liberal, Jewish, social justice-loving girl can pray, right?
So which balagan will come next? Only time will tell.
For all our sakes, though, let’s just hope it’s not a literal balagan atomi, an “atomic mess.” Pretty please, Donald: Keep your tiny hands off that red button.