Treat Yo Self: The Alma Hanukkah Gift Guide 2017

Hanukkah comes early this year, folks (is it ever on time?) starting on the evening of December 12. You may want to grab some presents for your siblings, parents, friends, or nieces and nephews, but there’s also nothing wrong with spending some of that hard-earned gelt on yourself. Here are our favorite gadgets and gizmos aplenty, whozits, and whatzits galore. Happy Hanukkah!

Jump Ahead: Jewelry, Pins, Tees, Home Decor, Gadgets, Books


Pasta Pendants ($85)

rotini necklace


Hi, did you know that pasta jewelry exists? It does. Choose your favorite or collect them all, from penne to farfalle to bucatini.

Oy Fucking Vey Bracelet ($35)

oy fucking vey bracelet

A bracelet that speaks your Jewy mind.

Hamsa Ring ($22.50)

hamsa ring

This purdy little guy will protect you from the evil eye (hey, that rhymes!).

Georgie Charm Necklace ($16)

georgie charm necklace

Also really into this hamsa/evil eye/gemstone combo.

Boobs Necklace ($32)

boobs necklace

Look, it’s bewbs 😍😍😍


Ruth Bader Pinsburg ($12)

ruth bader ginsburg pin

Wear your dissent on your sleeve.

Grow a Pair Pin ($9.99)

grow a pair pin

Who needs balls when you’ve got ovaries?

Waiting for Drake ($10)

waiting for drake pin

You’ll get those Birkin bags so help you God.

DW Side-Eye Pin ($10)

dw side eye pin

You is DW is you.

Read More Pin ($9.53)

read more pin

Because books.


Phenomenal Woman Tee ($35)

phenomenal woman tee

I mean, it’s true, isn’t it?

Greta Gerwig Tee ($20.42)

greta gerwig tee

Because Lady Bird was that good.

Spread Hummus, Not Hate ($17.01)

spread hummus not hate

A simple plea for world peace.

Everything in Paw-spective Tee ($29.99)

keep a postitive pawspective tee

We need good vibes right meow.

Bingo Bronson Broad City Tee ($10.26)

bingo bronson tee

Wear this puppy to Whole Foods and go wild.

Home Decor

Moon Phase Wall Art ($11)

moon phase wall art

Get in touch with your inner lunar goddess.

Boobs Pillow ($18)

boobs pillow

More boobs, fluffier than ever.

Golden Girls Throw Pillow ($36)

golden girls throw pillow

Thank yourself for being a friend.

Hanging Planter ($19.06)

hanging planters

Pretty and colorful and full of life.

Hamsa Wall Hanging ($19)

hamsa wall hanging

Triple the hamsas for triple the protection.


Bluetooth Wood Portable Speaker ($59.97)

bluetooth wooden speaker

The latest technology with a dash of retro charm.

Smart Keyring Bluetooth Tracker ($24.85)

smart keyring bluetooth tracker

This will help you find your phone, keys, and wallet every time you lose them.

Sleephones Bluetooth Wireless Headphones ($99.95)

sleephones bluetooth headphones

The most comfortable way to fall asleep to your favorite boring podcast.

Self-Chilling Wine Glasses ($49.95)

self-chilling wine glasses

Keep your rosé as chill as you are.

Avocado Huggers ($10.90)

avocado huggers

Keep your precious avos fresh for longer.


Sing, Unburied, Sing by Jesmyn Ward ($17.27)

sing unburied sing

Winner of the National Book Award, this on the road novel is lyrical and painfully good.

The Power by Naomi Alderman ($17.68)

the power naomi alderman

This speculative novel that gives teenage girls an immense physical power got the Margaret Atwood stamp of approval.

Hunger by Roxane Gay ($17.10)

hunger roxane gay

The internet’s favorite writer looks inward for an intimate look at her relationship with food, weight, and self-image.

There Are More Beautiful Things Than Beyoncé by Morgan Parker ($10.82)

there are more beautiful

For those who think they just don’t like poetry. You do.

Smitten Kitchen Every Day by Deb Perelman ($20.97)

smitten kitchen every day

Her first cookbook is beloved among many. The new one is a must-have.


hanukkah gift collage

Happy Hanukkah, everyone!

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