Passover is coming, and with it, the frantic search for the perfect haggadah (you know, that little booklet you use at the seder). After the news broke about the Maxwell House x Mrs. Maisel haggadah — which you can actually purchase — Twitter promptly began brainstorming other pop culture branded haggadahs they want to see.

Writer Emily Nussbaum tweeted:

Which, yes to all of these. It got our office slack channel talking. (Side note: Alma is owned by 70 Faces Media, which is also the parent company of Kveller, the Nosher, and Jewish Telegraphic Agency.)

Here are the pop culture haggadahs we’d be  extremely excited to see come to fruition:

A Frasier Haggadah

frasier

Alma Editor Molly Tolsky: “Because I’m weirdly obsessed with Frasier, I would like a Frasier haggadah. Yes, I know the Cranes aren’t Jewish (except for Frasier’s son Freddy and ex-wife Lilith!). I would just like all the painfully high-brow puns and snooty comments about wine and the four sons could be the four dogs (all Eddie). Thank you.”

Buffy the Vampire Slayer Haggadah

buffy

70 Faces Media Editorial Assistant Arielle Kaplan: “Because Buffy is a leader like Moses, and risks her life to save humankind (as Moses did for the Israelites). But mostly because she’s a badass bitch.”

Schitt’s Creek Haggadah

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Multimedia Editor Grace Yagel: “It can be a haggadah that helps you celebrate Passover in an interfaith family. And I can already imagine a full episode on the show of trying to have a seder in the town’s café with all the jokes, expressions, and comparisons of the Roses to how they celebrated seders luxuriously in the past. Just imagine Alexis saying in her David voice, ‘MOSES!’

Beastie Boys Haggadah

beastie boys

Kveller Editor Lisa Keys: “This comes as no surprise to anyone who knew me in the ’90s, but I would really love to have a Beastie Boys haggadah! It would be fun and totally doable to find an appropriate Beastie song for every step of the seder… Introducing the items on the seder plate? “Egg Man” and “Root Down,” of course. Time to hide the afikomen? “Rhymin’ & Stealing.” Festive meal? “Finger Lickin’ Good.” Grace after the meal? “Gratitude!” And on and on ’til the break of dawn…”

Get Out Haggadah

get out

JTA reporter Ben Sales: “It could be called Get Out of Egypt. Just like the Jews were enslaved in Egypt, our society is enslaved to its inherent racism AND ALSO it in turn oppresses black people in subtle yet very consequential ways just like the Jews were oppressed. (How is that overwrought hot take?)”

A Rachel Weisz Haggadah

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70 Faces Media Editorial Assistant Emily Burack: “Just a picture of Rachel on every page. Just picture it. There’s Rachel next to Dayenu. There’s Rachel with the four questions (four Rachels!). There’s Rachel, next year in Jerusalem. We’ve written at length before how Rachel Weisz is becoming a queer icon, and a Jewish one. A haggadah would cement that status!”

Queer Eye Haggadah (ft. Mari Kondo)

queer eye

Kveller Associate Editor Lior Zaltzman: “The haggadah that my family needs is the Queer Eye haggadah, lots of bringing people together, finding what we all have in common. Bobby’s gonna get that seder table on fleek, Karamo is going to help us all work through our issues, Tan is going to teach the Israelites to dress so fine, Jonathan will do Moses’ hair and beard but also, probably knows the best place to hide the afikomen, and Antoni will teach us how to make the best avocado matzah. Perhaps fellow Netflix star Marie Kondo could join us before and help us clean for Passover because I am a mess.”

Vampire Weekend Haggadah

vampire weekend

JTA Deputy Managing Editor Gabe Friedman: “Vampire Weekend gets criticized a lot for being white cultural appropriators, but they also pay tribute to loads of different cultures in their lyrics and sound. What would a Vampire Weekend-themed seder plate contain — falafel? Horchata? There are a bunch of cross-cultural opportunities, and the chance to incorporate some Ezra Koenig-style wordplay into the mix. Of course, no Oxford commas allowed.”

Please send us what your dream pop culture haggadah would be.

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