9 Kitschy Passover Items You Didn’t Know You Needed

Ft. Bernie Sanders and Dayenu swag.

The first night of Passover this year is March 27, 2021. The horror of how soon that is can be offset by how excellent a Jewish holiday Passover truly is. It’s full of dramatic storytelling, wine, matzah (which I happen to believe is delicious), and family traditions that take on a life of their own (does anybody else’s dad dress up as the ghost of Elijah in a white sheet and fedora? No?).

Another excellent part of Passover? The kitsch. The internet abounds with Passover goodies — including both beautiful ritual objects like seder plates and a matzah-covered toilet seat. Is most of this stuff necessary? Absolutely not. But we’re coming up on our second pandemic Passover, so I say buy whatever makes you happy. Without further ado, my favorite Passover items this year, all available on Etsy:

1. Wood and Ceramic Seder Plate ($169.15)

wooden and ceramic seder plate

Let’s start with the one item you actually do need if you are planning on hosting a seder: a seder plate. I love this one because of the simple and timeless wood design, as well as the adorable illustrations on the ceramic cups for each seder plate item.

2. Pyramid Matzah Holder ($43.99)

pyramid matzah holder

“Matzah holders” at my personal seders are usually just a paper towel wrapped around a matzah stack, so anything would be an upgrade from that, but this one is just so cool. Pyramid… like in Egypt… where the Passover story takes place… get it?

3. Rainbow Matzah Marzipan ($48)

rainbow marzipan matzah

I don’t actually know what marzipan is, aside from that it’s a thing they talk about on the Great British Baking Show and it’s kosher for Passover. I’ve never tasted it to know if I’d actually want to eat it, but these rainbow matzah beauties are so pretty that it doesn’t really matter.

4. Matzah Mask ($18)

matzah mask

Obviously there are a lot of Passover-themed masks out there because our people can’t pass up the opportunity to save a life. To be frank, I find most of them not very attractive, but you can never go wrong with a simple matzah design.

5. Passover Bernie Sanders Mittens Tee ($18.95)

bernie mittens passover shirt

Speaking of things our people simply can’t pass up (or over?), the Inauguration Day Bernie Sanders Mittens Meme has not died, will never die, will continue on like the Passover tradition itself. And so, here we have a T-shirt asking the fifth question, “On this night, why do we wear mittens?” Next year in Bernie apparel.

6. Afikomen Champ Tee ($25)

back to back afikomen champ t shirt

Elsewhere in clothing, let’s focus on what is clearly the best part of the seder: searching for a large cracker in between the couch cushions. If you’re an afikomen phenom, say it loud and proud with this shirt.

7. Dayenu Dangle Earrings ($14)

dayenu earrings

Available in gold, copper, and silver, I am simply obsessed with these laser-cut earrings. They make me wish I had pierced ears. Merely singing “Dayenu,” a true banger, would have been enough, but luckily we live in a world of abundance and style.

8. Matzah Ball Soup Necklace ($25)

matzah ball soup necklace

What’s a great Passover gift that can be worn year-round because every season is matzah ball soup season? That’s right, this little ceramic soup necklace with three fluffy balls that look good enough to eat (do not eat).

9. Matzah Sweatpants ($55)

matzah sweatpants

Why is this night different from all other nights? On all other nights we eat sitting or reclining, and on this night we only recline — in our matzah sweatpants. Even if you’ve already spent the pandemic reclining at every non-Passover meal, too, another pair of lounge pants can’t hurt. Elastic waistband means you can fill up on haroset and macaroons, FYI.

And now, an update on the Four Questions:

  1. Why do these kosher for Passover boxer briefs exist?
  2. Why do these Dayenu jammies only come in kid sizes? (UPDATE: The shop owner got in touch with us to say they now are available in adult sizes. Dayenu!)
  3. Why are Christian Passover shirts (and Christian seders) a thing?
  4. Why does this inflatable easel show up when search for “Passover”? (I’m not mad, just asking.)

Happy Passover shopping!

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