Yesterday, Mark Zuckerberg testified in front of Congress. In his testimony, he apologized and promised privacy reforms at Facebook. But the content is not important here. What is important is the fantastic reaction the internet had to his testimony. Let’s dive in:
1. Deer in Headlights
deer in headlights are like 'are you okay my guy' pic.twitter.com/adQq827I0A
— Alexandra Petri (@petridishes) April 10, 2018
2. Amelie inspo
when u drink 2 glasses of red wine while watching Amelie and decide to cut your own bangs pic.twitter.com/EPYHtZn3QI
— Dana Schwartz (@DanaSchwartzzz) April 10, 2018
3. Humans like water!
"don't forget to drink the water, humans like water" pic.twitter.com/RyhWE74Sl4
— ＲＵＩＮ™ (@BravingRuin) April 10, 2018
4. All the robot jokes 🤖
MAINTAIN YOUR HUMAN FORM. pic.twitter.com/9vzqt5MwH3
— Jonathan Hickman (@JHickman) April 10, 2018
5. UGH!
That face when you just wanted a faster way to rank girls by looks and ended up installing a fascist government in the most powerful country on earth pic.twitter.com/VEaQjz9Z6s
— Zack Bornstein (@ZackBornstein) April 10, 2018
6. Grandparents vs. Facebook
“Mr. Zuckerberg, a magazine i recently opened came with a floppy disk offering me 30 free hours of something called America On-Line. Is that the same as Facebook?” pic.twitter.com/U7pqpUhEhQ
— Dave Itzkoff (@ditzkoff) April 10, 2018
7. Accurate depiction of the Winkelvoss twins
the winkelvoss twins right now https://t.co/hKJbhZIxvr
— Ziwe (@ziwe) April 10, 2018
8. A realization journey
When you realize that you should have just let the Winklevoss twins have it: pic.twitter.com/Zd2noMJPs3
— Ryan Parker (@TheRyanParker) April 10, 2018
9. A bad haircut will haunt you forever
I appreciate that zuck has eight gazillion dollars and still looks like he got his hair cut by his mom pic.twitter.com/DRS8HOO5WD
— Brandy Jensen (@BrandyLJensen) April 10, 2018
10. Too high quality
getty did not have to go this hard pic.twitter.com/mLtHTDybe7
— Christopher Barnard (@chbarnard) April 10, 2018
11. The jokes just set themselves up
ZUCKERBERG: im ready to answer any questions u might have about facebook
84-YEAR-OLD SENATOR: excellent. mr zuckerberg my farmville farm needs more pigs but i cannot figure out where to purchase them
— Bob Vulfov (@bobvulfov) April 10, 2018
12. Tom from MySpace!
tfw you aren't being grilled by the Senate Judiciary Committee pic.twitter.com/0gbOmDtJq8
— Jeffrey Young (@JeffYoung) April 10, 2018
13. Tom from MySpace > Mark from Facebook.
Tom from MySpace showed way more emotion than this pic.twitter.com/Psvy0JpnQH
— Jackie Carbajal (@jackiecarbajal) April 11, 2018
14. The indecisiveness!
SENATOR: “Would you agree that it’s bad for Facebook to steal users’ blood and use it to create a clone army?”
ZUCK: “That’s an interesting question that I’ll have to discuss further with our team. Did you know I started this company in my dorm room?”
— Jess Dweck (@TheDweck) April 10, 2018
15. Omg, and the booster seat
Zuck's 4" booster seat is the coolest item from today. pic.twitter.com/FMKQUV3MbG
— John Robb (@johnrobb) April 10, 2018
14. A little photoshop goes a long way
“You don’t think you have a monopoly?” pic.twitter.com/cClSXSoauc
— Josh Billinson (@jbillinson) April 10, 2018
15. Points for the Pyscho reference
"They're probably watching me. Well, let them. Let them see what kind of a person I am. I'm not even going to swat that fly. I hope they are watching. They'll see. They'll see and they'll know, and they'll say, 'Why, he wouldn't even harm a fly…'" pic.twitter.com/FtPt54N2gb
— Dave Itzkoff (@ditzkoff) April 10, 2018
16. Ignore Zuckerberg for the moment, because cats
— erin chack (@ErinChack) April 10, 2018
17. What alternate reality was this!?
People once seriously argued that Zuckerberg might get elected president? Of humans?
— James Poniewozik (@poniewozik) April 10, 2018
18. The Real Facebook Experience
Mark Zuckerberg getting The Real Facebook Experience in listening to Sen. Chuck Grassley, an 84yo man who cannot type and is confused and upset by everything he sees, just kind of rattling on about shit.
— David Roth (@david_j_roth) April 10, 2018
19. Grandparents on Facebook jokes never get old
SEN: Now my granddaughter tells me that tagging is a big issue
ZUCK: Sir, I
SEN: A friend will tag, that's the terminology, correct? Tag her in a picture but she doesn't like the picture and she can't do a thing about it
— ☕netw3rk (@netw3rk) April 10, 2018
20. Plus dorm room jokes
Who among us can honestly say we did not make a mistake in a dorm room
— Emily Nussbaum (@emilynussbaum) April 10, 2018
21. Somewhere…
Somewhere, the Winklevoss twins are taking multiple shots of Patrón
— Madeline Hill (@mad_hill) April 10, 2018
22. Ready for the sequel
The Social Network 2 (2018) pic.twitter.com/GLFBd4V4BG
— Quinta (@quintabrunson) April 10, 2018
23. A combination you didn’t realize you needed
anyway, here's zuckerberg's arrival set to the radiohead cover from "the social network" trailer pic.twitter.com/wsuA8GaVFY
— David Mack (@davidmackau) April 10, 2018
24. OK, more Social Network jokes…
I'm starting to think that maybe Jesse Eisenberg was too human in THE SOCIAL NETWORK.
— Norm Wilner (@normwilner) April 10, 2018
25. Can you believe he legitimately sat on a booster seat AT A TESTIMONY!?
I know Zuckerberg is likely not human, but goddammit this booster seat hurt me to see. I know that feeling Z-fighter pic.twitter.com/g5xwm3ZnSN
— Published Author (@MoistCr1TiKaL) April 10, 2018
26. But is it a booster seat? 🤔
It's not a "booster seat," it's his lithium-ion battery. #Zuckerberg
— Paul Joseph Watson (@PrisonPlanet) April 10, 2018
27. Because, robot
(Internal monologue)
“Commence human engagement sequence. Activate human feelings module. Commence facial expression = ‘relaxed smile’.” pic.twitter.com/1PpQixta6B
— The Hoarse Whisperer (@HoarseWisperer) April 10, 2018
28. Please, stop
Zuckerberg Wishes Old People Would Stop Commenting On Facebook https://t.co/w8ysYVkzJ1 pic.twitter.com/VKZaT4DiUA
— The Onion (@TheOnion) April 10, 2018
29. Imagine your grandpa running a hearing on technology
A big takeaway from this questioning: the Senate is OLD. Average age in the Senate is 61, and there are 8 octogenarian Senators, almost twice the record.
For context: Orrin Hatch was born in 1934– two years before SUNSCREEN was invented.
— Charlotte Alter (@CharlotteAlter) April 10, 2018
30. Seriously
it would be great if our elected lawmakers knew anything about the internet
— b-boy bouiebaisse (@jbouie) April 10, 2018
31. It is too late to be going home
this is peak "me as a student going home from a night out and realising everyone else on the bus is on their way to work" pic.twitter.com/uPP8dWlYq3
— Marie Le Conte (@youngvulgarian) April 10, 2018
32. Sign me up for this one!
Zuckerberg says that Facebook does not permit “anything that makes people feel unsafe in the community”
When… when did this begin and how do I join this imaginary platform
— Super Nintendo Chalmers (@laura_hudson) April 10, 2018
33. What could possibly go wrong?
a global empire built on the faces of awkward teen girls what could possibly go wrong
— Moira Weigel (@moiragweigel) April 8, 2018
32. Okay, last one —
I mean he sucks but I can really empathize with Zuckerberg clearly being unsure what to do with his face
— Nick Wiger (@nickwiger) April 10, 2018
