Monday night, June 18, will go down in history: Kylie Jenner decided to make matzah ball soup. What inspired this decision? We will never know. Who taught her to make matzah ball soup? Does she read The Nosher? Is her family secretly Jewish? (No, definitely not, but it’s a funny thought.) Why is she making soup in June?
We don’t have the answer to any of these questions, but we’re here to break down Kylie Jenner’s matzah ball soup making as seen via Instagram story, because… why not?
The first four slides of her insta story are all about the veggies and the matzah balls (she spells them ‘matzo,’ but our official spelling is matzah. Get it right, Kylie!). The Alma staff has somewhat of a disagreement over the balls themselves. Our resident Jewish food expert, Shannon Sarna, explains, “It looks like she bought those matzah balls. When you make them by hand at home they aren’t usually those perfect round shapes.” Editor of Alma Molly Tolsky disagrees: “Why would she have them in a pot of boiling water if she bought them? She could have just added them to the soup. Therefore, I think they’re homemade.”
Jenner then adds in onion, chicken broth, bouillon, and egg noodles. Sarna says adding bouillon to your chicken soup is a major no-no because “bouillon is concentrated chicken ‘flavor’ which is laden with chemicals. Its not good for you, and it’s also not how you make real chicken soup.” But, she is using the classic Jewish brand Manischewitz for her egg noodles. Points for authenticity!
We also see Kylie’s really long, pink, sparkly nails in these shots. I don’t get this trend, tbh. But Kylie is very into them. I know this isn’t the point of her matzah ball soup making, but it had to be pointed out! #JOURNALISM.
And now we see the chicken. And Kylie stirring the soup, calling it DELISHHHHHHH (with 7 H’s, yes). And using the drool emoji, 🤤, which is arguably our least favorite emoji. (It’s basically the word “moist” in emoji form. It’s gross. Pete Davidson uses it to comment on Instagrams of Ariana Grande. It’s an objectively BAD emoji.)
And then we come to the end of Kylie’s #MatzahBallJourney. She watches a cooking show while eating the soup, she tells her followers that she wears glasses now, AND, in her most relatable statement, “If u don’t like matzo balls I can’t be friends with you!!!!” (We… agree. Kylie Jenner, are we friends now?)
Let us not pass over the last slide, which we have to break down on its own: a selfie of her with the heart eyes filter with “MATZO BALL SOUP” on it. (Yes, we posted it on our own Instagram.)
Since she’s Kylie Jenner, she needs to show her outfit, and her butt. But why caption “matzo ball soup”? Is her butt a matzah ball? Daily Mail, in classic Daily Mail fashion, covered her insta story matzah ball adventure as “Kylie Jenner flaunts her post-baby belly as she makes matzo ball soup.” Yikes!
Anyway. Kylie, can we get your recipe?