Our prayers have been answered: There’s a bagel emoji coming to iOS12.1, along with a curly haired emoji. The curly haired emoji is fine — exciting to have some hair diversity — but there has been outrage over the new bagel emoji. It’s being called a “gentile bagel.”

Grub Street took a strong stance, writing, “This is an emoji that New Yorkers and bagel lovers around the world have been expecting for a long time and the disappointment is truly overwhelming. Take a look at this clearly machine-cut monstrosity with its stiff and bready interior, which couldn’t possibly be redeemed by a few minutes in a toaster.” They continued, “Let’s talk about that distressingly smooth crust. What midwestern bagel factory did this bagel come out of? And is it really a bagel if there isn’t a disgusting amount of cream cheese that needs to be wiped off with a napkin before you can consume it? To be frank, this bagel emoji should only be used to illustrate what kind of bagel you don’t want your friend to pick up on the way over.”

Editor of The Nosher, Shannon Sharna, explained it thusly: “It looks like a Lender’s bagel, or a bagel you might get at a conference breakfast in a Marriott.” It is “not an authentic NY bagel,” and she wouldn’t “waste [her] carbs on that.”

Amen.

We rounded up the best jokes about this bad bagel:

1. New Yorkers demand more

2. The. Most. Gentile.

3. Blasphemous.

4. K, is it going to get anti-Semitic? (Probably)

5. Seriously. What.

6. “Plain-ass bagel”

7. IT WILL NOT STAND

8. Sub-standard! 

9. Why isn’t it an everything bagel? 

10. Seriously: Lender’s bagels should not be the model.

11. Too bready.

12. Clearly a Californian designed it. 

13. Seamless chimed in: 

14. WHO EATS IT WITHOUT CREAM CHEESE??

15. It’s just wrong.

16. “Airport desperation bagel.” 

17. Even NY1 chimed in:

18. Maybe they mis-labeled. 

Emily Burack

Emily Burack is an editorial assistant at Alma.

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