Have you always wanted an original piece of art created by Jack Schlossberg, the silly goose himself, with the word SCHMUCK on it not once but twice? Well, if you’re willing to start bidding on eBay, this dream could soon be realized.
Jack, JFK’s only grandson who is both a “huge fan” of Hey Alma and Catholic and Jewish, has really made a name for himself on the internet. His famous family lineage aside, he seems to be quite the Renaissance man: He was a political correspondent for Vogue this past election cycle, he jokes around and posts thirst traps on social media and now, it turns out, he is also an Artiste!
Yesterday, with zero additional commentary, he posted to Instagram: “SALE — HAND-PAINTED JACKUNO original artwork — ‘schmuck,’ ‘be pretty’ acrylic on metal. Series of 10.” Indeed, it seems Jack has created two (in a series of 10?) pieces of art that he is ready to sell to the highest bidder. In all-caps stencil font, one piece says BE PRETTY DONT BE SEXY (controversial!) but it’s the second piece that really caught our eye here at Hey Alma.
In the same all-caps stencil font, Jack has painted the truest truth: A SCHMUCK DOESNT KNOW HES A SCHMUCK. This piece of art also includes cartoon-style blue ocean waves at the bottom of the metal piece under the truism, with a planet (probably Saturn?) and a simple heart on either side of the words. On eBay, the item description from the seller (Jack!) simply says SCHMUCK and at time of publishing, the highest bid is $531. (For some reason, the PRETTY art piece has way more bids, and is already up to $810, frankly making the SCHMUCK piece a steal!)
On the Instagram grid post Jack made to promote the work, one of the first comments is from the @oldjewishmen account writing, “Always be shilling,” to which Jack responded immediately with this curious reply: “not for profit is not for me !” Does that mean Jack believes anything he does should bring him a profit? Or does that mean these pieces are being sold as a fundraiser and the profit will not go to him? Who will receive the profits? As of now, we do not know. It is just one more mystery when it comes to this joyful December miracle.
But wait — there’s more! As I was putting the finishing touches on this article, two Hey Alma staffers excitedly pinged me in Slack with the same info: Jack has published another listing! And yes, baruch hashem — it’s a third piece in the series, and it also features the word schmuck! This one (which has literally just been added to eBay as I type these words) seems to be painted on a more copper metal background, but uses the same all-caps stencil font to shout: SCHMUCK PROOF. There are more ocean waves accompanying the words on this piece, and a slightly different font “10/10” in the bottom right corner. Depending on how fast you read these words and click over to eBay, you could literally be the first one to bid on this new piece in Jack’s SCHMUCK collection.
Do I understand why Jack has decided to create this art, and what the word “schmuck” means to him? No, it is impossible to know the mind of a genius. But do I kind of want to own it, now that it exists in the world? Duh.
