Here’s a true statement: Zach Galifianakis recently made a guest appearance on the Jewish dating show, Bubbies Know Best.
Why?
To promote his new movie, Between Two Ferns: The Movie, of course!
The movie is a mockumentary-style comedy that takes you behind the scenes of his cringe-worthy celebrity interview series. But unlike in real life — where Between Two Ferns started as a series on Will Ferrell’s Funny or Die website — in the world of the movie, it begins as a public access show in Galifianakis’ fake hometown of Flint, North Carolina.
So, in an effort to promote the movie, Galifianakis is visiting actual public access shows across the country. Which is how he got to Jewish Life TV’s Bubbies Know Best, where hilarity ensues.
As we’ve reported before, Bubbies Know Best is an awkwardly hilarious dating show in which three Jewish grandmothers, Linda, Bunny, and S.J., attempt to match a single Jewess with a compatible Nice Jewish Boy. While Galifianakis is not Jewish and is also married, he stopped by to chat with the bubbies about everything from their matchmaking success rate to circumcision, naturally.
Here’s an exclusive first look at Zach’s appearance with the bubbies:
Galifianakis is first introduced to the bubbies back stage, who have no idea who he — or Netflix — is. The four chat about Max and Jessica, a couple who met on the show who are reportedly still dating, and soon turn to the burning question on all the bubbies’ minds: “Why are you here?!” Galifianakis plays up the pity card and says it’s because nobody else would allow him on their talk show, eliciting a bubaluh and baby doll from S.J. which should go in the dictionary as the definition of bubbie-speak.
Talk then turns to Galifianakis’ appearance, which doesn’t quite impress the bubbies — his shoes are too dirty — to which he snaps back at Linda, “Your shoes are made out of a shark suit!”
But the most entertaining topic of conversation is the Hebrew ritual of circumcision.
While talking about a hypothetical situation in which Zach would marry bubbie Bunny, Linda says, “Zach, if you converted, you know you would have to… um… draw blood out of the area down there…”
Galifianakis, shocked, tries to clarify: “If I’m uncircumcised, and Bunny and I get together and decide to get married, I have to cut—”
“You’d have to cut a part of your penis,” S.J. affirms.
The bubbies, no strangers to crossing personal boundaries, then ask Galifianakis if he is in fact circumcised.
“I was, but I got it put back on,” he quips. “There’s a guy down in Orange County that’ll do it…”
“You can add length onto it, especially if it’s a small one,” S.J. says.
The bubbies then proceed to talk about the size of Galifianakis’ penis. (That is a sentence I never thought I’d write.)
We Jews have to hand it to Galifianakis, Netflix, and crew. The movie already gave us one of the greatest Jewish jokes of all time, courtesy of Paul Rudd. And now it’s given us this very special episode of Bubbies Know Best. The full episode will air on Jewish Life TV on September 30 at 8 p.m. EST, making this a Rosh Hashanah gift for the ages.
After the requisite plug for Between Two Ferns: The Movie, we’re led to believe that the show is done shooting, but there’s one more little bonus clip. Galifianakis says to the bubbies in all earnestness, “I would talk to you guys for two more hours, I really would. Especially about circumcision.”
To be honest, I’d watch that.
