This year’s Met Gala on May 7, 2018, is the Gala’s 70th anniversary. Formally called the Costume Institute Gala, and also known as the Met Ball, the event takes place at the Metropolitan Museum of Art and is the opening of the Costume Institute’s fashion exhibit.
The event is often called “fashion’s biggest night out,” and designers select the celebrities they want to dress. This year’s exhibit that’s going to inspire the outfits? “Heavenly Bodies: Fashion and the Catholic Imagination.”
That’s right, the theme is Catholicism. Since celebrities and other A-Listers are encouraged to show up in theme…. what’s a Jew to do?
Vogue explained there will be “diehard dress code followers who push the boundaries each year. Madonna, Katy Perry and Rihanna will, of course, take on Catholic tropes literally, while others will gently nod to the Vatican with red, white and gold color schemes, heavy embroidery and cross jewelry.”
It seems unlikely that a Jewish celebrity will show up donning a big ole cross, so we have some other outfit ideas. Here we go:
Take some inspiration from the home of Catholicism: Rome, Italy.
1. Dress like a stylish Italian.
As Amelia Diamond wrote in Man Repeller last year re: Roman styles, “There was something about the city that seemed to imbue its pedestrians with confidence and humor, which then translated to what they wore, no matter if I’d wear it or not. Maybe it’s because those who visit Rome seek beauty, so they bring beauty with them. Maybe it’s because when you look up and spin around you’re made dizzy by ancient grandeur.”
2. Embody Hilary Duff circa the Lizzie McGuire Movie. You can’t go wrong.
3. Forego Catholicism altogether and dress like a Greek goddess. Pre-Catholicism, sure, but at least you’re geographically correct. Plus that draping.
The Jewish Bible
The Jewish Bible is technically part of Catholicism (they call it the “Old Testament”), so take some inspiration from badass biblical ladies.
4. Dress like Queen Esther, the badass woman who saved her people from genocide.
Some inspiration for you:
5. Or what about Miriam? (If what immediately came to mind was Debbie Friedman’s Miriam’s Song, you’re on the right site.) Carry a timbrel (tambourine) and just start shaking it at people when they ask how you’re dressed in theme.
Red & Gold
Catholicism is very red and gold, right? (We don’t know where this color scheme came from, but whatever.)
6. Wear something very red and gold? Subtle, shows you understood there was a theme, but not over the top with “hey look it’s the crucified Jesus.”
(But don’t google “red and gold dress” because they are all very ugly.)
“Jesus was a Jew”
(Here’s what Jews believe about Jesus, if you’re curious.)
7. Show up with this fun motto as a graphic tee. Or a sign! Sure it will go over SUPER WELL.
8. Alternatively, embody the musical Jesus Christ Superstar and start belting “Jesus Christ, Superstar… Do you think you’re what they say you are?”
Just wear these amazing geometric coats the Jewish priests wore in the recent live performance:
9. Madonna’s ’80s vibe is a good starting off point (just replace the cross earrings with… Stars of David?). You really can’t go wrong.
The Jewish Pope
You can go as a pope, as long as it’s one of the Popes rumored to have been born Jewish. Obviously unconfirmed, but there’s rumors Pope John Paul II’s mom was Jewish.
10. Go as Jewish pope Andreas, a Jewish folk legend about a pope who was born Jewish.
Just go super Jewish
12. Or take a cue from this Israeli culture minister at Cannes last year and legit wear Jerusalem on your dress. Why not!
— Hollywood Reporter (@THR) May 18, 2017
13. Wear some Jewish fashion designers! Zac Posen, Isaac Mizrahi, Marc Jacobs, Diane von Fürstenberg, Ralph Lauren… lots to pick from (and we’ll be watching what they send down the carpet).
But because you’re Jewish, whatever you wear is probably going to cause way more controversy than whatever the Catholics are doing. Have fun!