These Jewish Celebrities Should Really Be Dating

The only commentary we're trying to make here is: Lol, what if?

Random celebrity couples have reigned supreme in the last year. Timothée Chalamet and Kylie Jenner became an item and got very cozy at The Golden Globes. Selena Gomez declared her love for Benny Blanco on Instagram. Spongebob… err… Ethan Slater broke up his marriage for “Wicked” co-star Ariana Grande. Former Bachelorette Gabby Windey said she is ready to convert to Judaism for comedian Robby Hoffman. And who can forget the short-lived but extremely chaotic relationship between Eric André and Emrata?

The amount of times I was deeply confused by a celebrity pairing in 2023 brought me so much joy that I want to keep the party going — so the Hey Alma staff put together a list of random Jewish celebrities we wish were dating. Please keep in mind that this list is meant to be light-hearted! Just for funsies, if you will. We’re not trying to suggest that anyone on this list who might be in a pre-existing relationship should break-up with their current partner, or speculate about anyone’s sexuality or relationship practices. The only commentary we’re trying to make here is: Lol, what if?

With that said, in no particular order, here are some Jewish celebrities we wish were dating:

Troye Sivan and Dan Levy

*Blasts “Rush” by Troye*

Max Greenfield and Natasha Lyonne

You know, like that one episode of “New Girl” but for real.

Pauline Chalamet and Pete Davidson

An ultra-famous comedian known for his high profile beaus and the sister of a Hollywood heartthrob? First, they should get together. Second, they should turn their love story into a movie.

Nathan Fielder and Emrata

The plan? Get the world’s most awkward comedian and one of the world’s hottest models to become an item.

Doja Cat and Zoë Kravitz

OK, but imagine how iconic it would be if Doja and Zoë actually did date…

Kaia Gerber and Mike Wazowski

Sometimes gorgeous, statuesque models date short kings and that’s OK.

Eric André and Sarah Sherman

These two wild comedians really deserve each other.

Larry David and Elmo

Who doesn’t enjoy an enemies-to-lovers arc? (Before you get angry that Elmo is canonically a child, please remember that Elmo is also a Muppet and, more importantly, not real.)

Hannah Einbinder and King Princess

This is the one pairing on this list where we’re actually like *insert eye emoji*

Kingsley Ben-Adir and Julia Garner

The “Barbie” actor and “Inventing Anna” actress would be adorable together. Kenough said.

Fievel Mouskewitz and Dianna Agron

Once again: Before you get angry that Fievel is canonically a child, please remember that he is also a cartoon mouse and, more importantly, not real.

Ezra Koenig and Rashida Jones and Alana Haim

Polyamory is all the rage this season! I say Ezra and Rashida should consider becoming a throuple.

Evelyn Frick

Evelyn Frick (she/they) is a writer and associate editor at Hey Alma. She graduated from Vassar College in 2019 with a Bachelor of Arts in English Literature. In her spare time, she's a comedian and contributor for Reductress and The Onion.

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