Last week, the Washington Post published an op-ed entitled, “I am tired of being a Jewish man’s rebellion,” where the author explains she is done dating Jewish men. We’ll spare you the rest of the essay that critiqued Jewish moms and made an idiotic joke about bacon (read if you wish), but we’re here with the best jokes about the essay.
1. The Jewish mothers always win
The jewish mothers of that WaPo girl's ex-boyfriends are laughing their heads off right now
— Dana Schwartz (@DanaSchwartzzz) April 2, 2018
2. Suspicious timing
I think WaPo thought we wouldn't notice because this is Jewish school spring break week, or that we were too constipated to notice?
— Taffy Brodesser-Akner (@taffyakner) April 2, 2018
3. Truly terrible timing
The real moral of that essay is not to piss off the media Jewesses of Twitter three days after we’ve seen our extended families and eaten a lot of constipating food.
— Emily Nussbaum (@emilynussbaum) April 2, 2018
4. Ah, yes the Jewish media
I for one, am relieved that The Israelite's LUST for the Willowy Shiksa is finally being EXPOSED, no thanks to (((the media))) https://t.co/iZKjCbyLJM
— Adam Serwer 🍝 (@AdamSerwer) April 2, 2018
5. Carrie Bradshaw-esque
“I couldn’t help but wonder: was I a shiksa? Or a shiks-nah?”
— Amanda Smith (@AmandaRTubbs) April 2, 2018
6. A simpler time
today, when we're upset about snow and a super-dumb personal essay feels so Obama-era.
— Heather Abel (@heatherkabel) April 2, 2018
7. Just go to Christian Mingle
i love for my religion and culture to be maligned by some shiksa salty about her failed relationships. go on christian mingle b!!!!
— loves ice cream, hates ICE (@lil_yenta) April 2, 2018
8. Some food for thought
hey @washingtonpost, if you can literally substitute a headline of one of your articles with "why I don't date Jews anymore" maybe you SHOULDN'T PUBLISH IT. thanks!
— Sammy Nickalls 🧚♀️ (@sammynickalls) April 2, 2018
9. Pharaoh gets it
fixed it pic.twitter.com/MKK2nmIBUR
— Ariel Edwards-Levy (@aedwardslevy) April 2, 2018
10. Default: blame the Jews
— W.E.B. Du Fuccboi (@TheHipsterRebbe) April 2, 2018
11. WASP tears
Little known fact: during the intermediate days of Passover all tea is prepared with WASP tears https://t.co/nNcVtXgzE3
— רח׳׳ל (@RokhlK) April 2, 2018
12. Why publish it in the Jewish media??
what I don't understand is why a freelance writer who clearly believes the Jews control the media would decide to announce in the Washington Post that she sould like to be placed on the shitlist of all the media Jews
— your friend Helen (@hels) April 2, 2018
13. Did we go back in time?
Congrats to Wapo for publishing an Op-Ed from 1954.https://t.co/dz6ebDhQFI pic.twitter.com/5z5hHF0T8Y
— Eli Valley (@elivalley) April 2, 2018
14. Prince of Egypt memes
PERSPECTIVE | I AM TIRED OF BEING A JEWISH MAN'S REBELLION pic.twitter.com/gUjv70nrg2
— Kate Havard (@KateHavard) April 2, 2018
This is…uh….a lot of words to say you won’t date Jewish guys @CareyPurcell. Thanks for the warning for all Jews to stay clear of you tho. Really don’t understand why any editor would publish this antisemitic narishkeit https://t.co/3ccgh8fijy
— Rebecca Pierce (@aptly_engineerd) April 2, 2018
16. White nationalists get new pick-up lines
"I am tired of being a Jewish man's rebellion" and 20 other pick up lines for White Nationalists
— yitzi (@LanaCelRay) April 2, 2018
17. Hey Siri?
Siri, show me anti-semitism disguised as a dating column https://t.co/KISbh64HKu
— Alex Putterman (@AlexPutterman) April 2, 2018
18. Drake memes, of course
Perspective: I Am Tired of Being a Jewish Man's Rebellion pic.twitter.com/4WCX7BLYZL
— Adam Nayman (@brofromanother) April 2, 2018
19. The tiniest fiddler
Anyway, @CareyPurcell, I am sorry you had trouble dating Jewish men. I bet the world‘s tiniest fiddler on the world‘s tiniest roof is playing for you.
— Mara “Get Rid of the Nazis” Wilson (@MaraWilson) April 2, 2018
20. Blame the Elders
.@CareyPurcell boldly declared: It's not me, it was the protocols of the elders of Zion. https://t.co/N1cYKiwgJZ
— Hunter Walker (@hunterw) April 2, 2018
21. Christmas tree-scented vagina
I'm sorry I'm sorry I should stop but I truly cannot get over the fact that this writer truly seems to believe her christmas-tree-scented vagina is a magnetar-level attractant for all nearby circumcised penises
— your friend Helen (@hels) April 2, 2018
But all joking aside, as Sophie Ellman-Golan points out, the essay was super problematic.
At a time when antisemitism is on the rise, I'm struggling to fathom why someone would feel compelled to write an OpEd using her 2 breakups with Jewish men to make sweeping assertions about Jewish communities and promote negative stereotypes about us.
I just don't get it.
— Sophie Ellman-Golan (@EgSophie) April 2, 2018
Not okay, Washington Post.