Picture it: It’s Sunday night after an exhausting few weeks, and I turn to Twitter during my nightly doomscroll while watching the Knicks lose their first playoff game. There, I see a series of tweets that stop me dead in my tracks: Taika Waititi, Rita Ora and Tessa Thompson are all together?!!?
Are Rita Ora and Taika Waititi in an open relationship with Tessa Thompson? pic.twitter.com/SmxqwXN2lm
— CarineK 's version. 💛 (@CarineK) May 23, 2021
Image description: Four photos of Taika Waititi, Rita Ora and Tessa Thompson. Taika is in a blue button-down, with a paisley bandana around his neck, and sunglasses. Rita is in a multicolored brown leather coat and sunglasses, and Tessa is wearing a black leather jacket and sunglasses. In the first photo, they are all huddled close together on a lounge chair with three drinks in front of them on a small table. In the second, Taika is kissing just Rita on the chair. In the third, Taika is leaning down to kiss Tessa on a different lounge chair. In the fourth, Tessa is kissing Rita in the OG chair.
First reported by the Daily Mail, Taika, Rita and Tessa were all spotted canoodling at Waititi’s home in Sydney. Rita and Taika have been linked publicly since April 2021, when she posted an Instagram slideshow he was in, but internet sleuths discovered Taika and Rita were pictured at a party thrown by Chris Hemsworth in March, so it didn’t seem like a new relationship.
Still, when the news of the Albanian British pop star and the Māori Jewish director/actor/writer dating surfaced, Twitter had a meltdown.
absolutely shaken to my core by the news that rita ora and taika waititi are dating
— vampire workday (@imbobswaget) April 28, 2021
Taking compassionate leave from work due to the news of Taika Waititi dating Rita Ora
— Kirsten (@blessedorkirst) April 23, 2021
But that’s nothing compared to the news that recently came out about Taika and Rita and actress Tessa Thompson. Tessa and Taika have known each other since “Thor: Ragnarok,” a 2017 film he directed where Tessa starred as Valkyrie. She’s set to appear in “Thor: Love and Thunder,” the new Thor film that Taika is currently working on starring Natalie Portman as Thor.
Both Tessa and Rita have spoken about their attraction to all types of people.
Tessa explicitly discussed her sexuality in a 2018 interview, saying, “I’m attracted to men and also to women. If I bring a woman home, [or] a man, we don’t even have to have the discussion.” (This was right after the release of Janelle Monáe’s “Dirty Computer,” an “emotion picture” starring Tessa.)
After accusations that her song “Girls” was fetishizing queer women, Rita apologized and said, “Girls was written to represent my truth and is an accurate account of a very real and honest experience in my life. I have had romantic relationships with women and men throughout my life and this is my personal journey. I am sorry how I expressed myself in my song has hurt anyone.”
And for those of you thinking, wait, isn’t Taika Waititi married? He was. Taika was married to producer Chelsea Winstanley, but they have been separated since 2018. They have two daughters, Te Hinekahu and Matewa Kiritapu.
Okay, now that we’ve established all of that, let’s get to the tweets about this maybe-news of possibly the most beautiful three-person relationship in history.
if you would’ve told me a year ago tessa thompson, rita ora, and taika waititi would be in a throuple i would’ve slapped you and called you a liar.
— kenzie (@phosphorence) May 23, 2021
rita ora being in a poly relationship with taika waititi and tessa thompson wasn’t on my 2021 bingo card but here we are
— dia (@SCOTTH0PE) May 23, 2021
what-taika waititi, tessa thompson and rita ora THEY- pic.twitter.com/6orAS4gpra
— ४ maddie | loki’s personal tiddie kisser (real) (@moonshinecas) May 23, 2021
(Bear with us on this image description, ok?) Several floating photoshopped images of the same person, in different sizes, on one main image. The largest one has this person, with curly hair, a beard, and a dark blue shirt, holding his hands on his face in exasperation. In another, smaller one, their hands are on their cheeks, looking into the distance and just *done.* In another, their hands are on their temples. In yet another, their hands are on their forehead, distressed (in a funny way).
looking at those new pap pics of taika, tessa, and rita ora like pic.twitter.com/UMRhcb8Wt3
— j (@jashleysthings) May 23, 2021
Image description: A photo of Kris Jenner from “Keeping Up with the Kardashians.” She’s wearing black-framed glasses and a striped shirt and is looking at a computer desktop in shock.
Me finding out in a matter of seconds that Taika Waititi has actually not been married for years now and also he’s dating Rita Ora and also they were seen making out with Tessa Thompson pic.twitter.com/y0fpfmPk1R
— caitie delaney (@caitiedelaney) May 23, 2021
Image description: A warped, memed photo of Mr. Krabs from Spongebob Squarepants. He is standing at a table surrounded by Bikini Bottom citizens. He looks shocked and overwhelmed.
TAIKA WAITITI IS TRENDING BUT DON'T CLICK ON IT BECAUSE YOU'LL JUST BE JEALOUS NO MATTER HOW YOU IDENTIFY
— Doug Benson (@DougBenson) May 23, 2021
I wanna be in a throuple with Tessa and Taika pic.twitter.com/5r8UNdi0nj
— Fiona Applebum says Block Shaun King 🍎 (@WrittenByHanna) May 23, 2021
A gif of Emma Roberts in a fur pink coat, white blouse, and large, round, brown sunglasses from “Scream Queens.” She is stomping her foot and throwing a tantrum.
I’m also tryna kiss taika waititi and Tessa Thompson… Rita Ora count your fucking days pic.twitter.com/HXoXiEFZip
— sonia (@sxniabh) May 23, 2021
Image description: A memed photo of Ariana Grande. She is all dressed up yet staring at a computer and crying.
is there room for another in this rita ora, taika waititi, tessa thompson thing? asking for a friend (myself) pic.twitter.com/iyZGQb9KoF
— Sophieeee (@iamsophiedawson) May 23, 2021
Image description: A photo of Rita, Taika, and Tessa huddled together on a lounge chair against a concrete wall. They are leaning very close into each other and laughing. Rita, on the left, has a hand on Taika’s chest and Tessa, on the right, has her face pressed against his chest, laughing. Taika’s hands are thrown around them both. Three drinks sit on a small table in front of them.
oh to be rita ora kissing taika waititi and tessa thompson
— atlas ✡︎ | tfatws pr manager (@S4MWILS0N) May 23, 2021
What was the point of me getting hot in lockdown if Taika wasn’t gonna wait for me.
— Akilah Hughes (@AkilahObviously) May 23, 2021
And there’s just good Taika tweets:
perfectly fine for taika waititi to have such a pronounced mid life crisis but must we bear witness to it
— ava wong davies (@avawongdavies) May 23, 2021
taika waititi said 'i'll have two of everything' pic.twitter.com/oCMT0UhaPW
— 𝖊𝖌𝖌 (@emmaggarland) May 24, 2021
Image description: A photo of Taika huddled close on a lounge chair with Rita and Tessa; Rita, on the left, is giving him a kiss on the corner of his mouth. His arms are around them both. In the second photo, Taika stands against a concrete wall in a blue button-down denim shirt, a blue paisley bandana around his neck, and shades on. He’s smoking a cigarette, and another is tucked behind his ear.
therapist: polyamorous taika waitita can’t hurt you he isn’t real
polyamorous taika waititi:
— alison rumfitt (@hangsawoman) May 23, 2021
my gender identity is taika waititi 2 cigarettes deep after a threesome pic.twitter.com/HJwtVbLJup
— kate winslet’s vape coach (@theeashleyray) May 24, 2021
Image description: Taika stands against a concrete wall in a blue button-down denim shirt, a blue bandana around his neck, and shades on. He’s smoking a cigarette, and another is tucked behind his ear.
But for real, they were maybe just trolling the paparazzi:
(I think taika, Rita and Tessa saw the paparazzi and decided to troll us… but I'm not gonna say anything because I want a platinum tweet lol)
— CarineK 's version. 💛 (@CarineK) May 23, 2021
We can all dream it is real.