14 Jewish Pick Up Lines Hotter Than the Burning Bush

Is that a fiddler on your roof or are you just happy to see me?

It’s that time of year again! Those February days when you can’t escape love hearts and are constantly reminded of your own crippling loneliness. Yes. It’s Valentine’s Day, and right about now you’re probably thinking that maybe your mother was right; it’s time to settle down with a nice Jewish person.

I know how hard it can be to try and start a conversation with somebody when the weight of your ancestors’ dreams of Jewish continuity is resting on your JSwipe profile. So, I thought I’d take off some of the pressure for you. Here are 14 Jewish-themed pick up lines designed to make your rabbi blush.

1. Wanna get a drink sometime? I was thinking a glass of wine — I know this really great chuppah we can hang out under.

2. Come over to my place on Shabbat, we can Netflix and cholent.

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3. You must be a dybbuk because my body feels like it belongs to you now and also why do you remind me of my dead great-grandfather?

4. There may be plenty of gefilte fish in the kitchen, but you’re the only one my bubbe approves of.

5. Are you a dvar Torah? Because I’m hanging off your every word and also you make me ready for bed. By the way, I have an issue with something you said towards the beginning and would like to debate that one thing. No, I didn’t pay attention to the rest, I was too busy thinking about how right I am. Anyway, is it time for food yet?

6. You know where that coat of many colors would look better? Torn to shreds and covered in blood as your siblings convince your elderly father you’re dead. Also my bedroom floor.

7. I took a 23andMe test and the good news is we’re not related!
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8. Is that a fiddler on your roof or are you just happy to see me?

9. Well you must be David and I Goliath because you’ve knocked me off my feet (and cut my head off to present to the King of Israel).

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10. I may not be Abraham, Isaac, or Jacob but I sure am FOREtunate enough to have you in my life!

~BONUS ALTERNATIVE!~ I may not be a mohel, but I sure am FORE(skin)tunate enough to have you in my life!

11. Are you a Maccabee? If so, feel free to oil me up for one night and we’ll see how long we can make it last.

12. Baby, are you Eve? Because you make me want to try new things! Also you’ve gotten us permanently banned from this establishment.

13. You must be the Tower of Babel because you make me unable to communicate effectively.

~BONUS ALTERNATIVE!~ Are you Moses? Because my bush is burning.

14. You must be Nebuchadnezzer because I want to tear down the walls between us and then totally destroy your holy Temple.

Image by mikroman6 via Getty Images

Shoshana Gottlieb

Shoshana Gottlieb is a writer who has no idea what she’s doing with her life, and is currently mooching off her brother’s Netflix account. An avid TV and movie fan, she dreams of writing Jewish rom-coms. You can find her movie reviews at shoshanagottlieb.wordpress.com and her dumb Jewish jokes on twitter @TheTonightSho.

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