Oh, Hello? Nick Kroll & John Mulaney Need to Host the Oscars

On the sixth night of Hanukkah, my true love gave to me Nick Kroll and John Mulaney. Possibly hosting the Oscars, that is.

I have been debating what is the biggest Hanukkah miracle this year. There was Rachel Bloom’s labia menorah that has forever changed the game, Timothée Chalamet and Barbra Streisand taking a photo together that definitely isn’t my phone background, RBG’s Hanukkah scrunchie that is now mandatory all year long, and the social acceptability of surviving on an all latke and sufganiyot diet.

Yet, now that the eight nights have concluded, I can definitively say this — Nick Kroll and John Mulaney possibly hosting the Oscars — is it. If it happens. Please let it happen.

After Kevin Hart was dropped for controversial homophobic tweets, two heroes emerged: George St. Geegland and Gil Faizon, who announced from their joint Twitter account (from the comfort of the NY Public Library they managed to sneak back into) that they will be hosting.

For those not familiar, John Mulaney and Nick Kroll created the hilariously terrible characters of George St. Geegland (Mulaney) and Gil Faizon (Kroll), who originally made their television debut on The Kroll Show. As the story goes, these two have been close friends since they met at Columbia University in the ‘60s. In sketches, Gil’s daftness and George’s psychosis feed off one another. Their friendship is sustained due to their own incompetence, compounded with George’s wives all mysteriously falling down the same staircase and Gil’s illicit human-raccoon relationships (thanks Giuliani!). They both have distinct accents that can only be described as ‘50s New England for George and italicized Brooklyn Jewish with a sort of abbreviated hiccup in the middle for Gil (like r’coon).

Donning dingy turtlenecks and corduroys, they putz around NYC with Steely Dan playing in their heads. Both George and Gil have misanthropic tendencies that lead to (you guessed it!) comedic antics. Other than the baseline humor of being old men yelling at the clouds about economic and social improvements to New York, they hold a public access show called “Too Much Tuna.” With very limited knowledge on both TV shows and pranks, the pair host guests at a deli to belligerently and prematurely announce that they are about to receive “too much tuna” on their tuna fish sandwich.

The sketch made the leap from The Kroll Show to an off-Broadway play to finally, “The Oh, Hello Show” on Broadway (or as they say Br’dway). The play premiered in September 2016, starring Mulaney and Kroll, and ran through January 2017. A recording of one performance is available on Netflix, as of June 2017. All this to say: They are the city’s most eligible bachelors and hosts with the background to prove it. They have been on Broadway. They have their own Netflix special. Let’s let them host the Oscars!

And I’m not alone in thinking they would be great hosts.

Amongst the swarms of fellow fans, the Jewish Dad of Twitter™, Judd Apatow, has officially given the pair his seal of approval.

Meanwhile, Gil and George fortunately come in a Zabar’s package duo with Nick Kroll and John Mulaney, who have expressed “concern” with the duo’s campaign to host.

Mulaney and Kroll have their own experience of hosting IFC’s Film Independent Spirit Awards in both 2017 and 2018. Entertainment Weekly calls John and Nick “truly, the only straight white men I will accept in this role.” I can’t help but concur. Frankly, they (and Andy Samberg) have been doing all of the positive PR heavy living for straight white men as of late.

While there has been no official announcement from the Academy proclaiming, “Oh, hell yes,” I can work with their announcement from Twitter. Not only will they bring a Starkist sponsorship, they will also bring back the old Hollywood glamour of cuh-caine and the geriatric vote (that’s what got Trump elected, right?).

If this doesn’t work out, consider this my formal invite for the duo to host my bat mitzvah that I still haven’t had.

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